One of the items on my 30-before-30 list is to “be less afraid”. While I admit this goal sounds vague, I actually have a pretty good idea of what I mean (it was maybe just a wee-bit personal for the internet). But, personal-schmersonal I’m going to tell you all about it today!
Just like everyone else out there, I have a little voice in my head. And that little voice is forever telling me that I’m not good enough. Why try?, it says, when you’ll just fail? And I’m petrified of failure. Irrationally petrified of failure. So I usually don’t put myself out there. But you know what that means right? It means that I won’t have the chance to succeed.
Well, this month I did three things that I never would have done before. I applied for the creativeLIVE + Jasmine Star course, I applied for the Richmond food blogger position, and I prepared a couple of submissions to wedding blogs.
It may sound a little bit ridiculous, but I’m usually too afraid to apply for cool stuff. Sure, I think I’m pretty awesome, but there comes that little voice again, telling me that someone else is better, I shouldn’t waste my time, and it will hurt to much when I don’t get selected.
These two applications were extra hard because I really do think I’m perfect for, and have an honest-to-goodness shot at, both.
I almost pulled the plug on the Jasmine Star video. After hours of work perfecting the copy, when the time came to go out and film it, I almost balked. However, I included a video application for a creativeLIVE course on my 30-before-30 list, and knew that this was the perfect course to try out for. So, the hubs and I went out, found an awesome-sauce location, and started filming.
In the end, I’m super proud of my video!
Did you notice how in the video I said: “I’ve never submitted any of my clients beautiful weddings for publications, instead I keep listening to the little voice in my head that tells me I’m just not good enough”? Well, yesterday (after writing most of this post) I decided it was time. I prepared and pressed send on not one, but two submissions. And I’m working on a third. And while I hope they get selected, whether they do or don’t is beside the point right now. The point is I finally did it. I finally said, “you know what, I am good enough and my clients deserve it.” And every submission going forward will be just a little bit easier.
And guess what, I’m not done yet folks! I’m doing another scary thing this month. And this one is the scariest thing yet. This month, I’ve decided it’s time to start valuing myself. I’ve been doing discounted photography (often deeply discounted photography or free photography) for two and half years. I just put together my budget for this year and it became clear to me that this needs to stop. Otherwise, in two years, I’ll be crawling back to my office with my tail between my legs, having spent a fun couple of years growing a really expensive hobby. But it’s not a hobby, this is my business. So, no more relocation specials, no more huge discounts because I’m afraid you won’t hire me. My prices are my prices. I’m worth it. But quite honestly…
I’m petrified.
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