the ups and the downs

Last Friday I told you all about how I was quitting my job and following my dreams. Moving to Buenos Aires.  Becoming a full time entrepreneur.  And it sure sounds like I’ve got it all together.  Well, today I’ve got a little secret to share with you: living “the dream”, well it’s a lot less glamourous than it sounds.

I’m all about honesty here, people. So this week I’m going to bare my soul and tell you about three things that are making living the dream a little less lustrous than you might have imagined. But, ever the optimist, I’m also going to tell you what I’m doing to shine it up!

It can be lonely

I spend a lot of hours (a lot) alone at my computer. The hubs and I are on our 8th day of a “14 days/14 cafes” project. Sounds fabulous, right? Well, these are working sessions, so we get to the cafe, pull out our laptops and get right back to work, i.e., we barely even talk to each other, much less other people.

Action Plan: Meet people here, go to things (like Spanglish or yoga).   We’ll have a lot of days (11) with people in Antarctica (in EIGHT DAYS!!!) so I might put this off until after we get back, because this week is going to be busy! 

I’m never off the clock

Every minute that I’m not working or doing a project I feel is a moment wasted. I wake up, work out, sit down at my desk (ok… table) and work. Other than breaks to cook lunch, walk to the cafe and back, and cook dinner, I work. From 9 when I’m done working out until about midnight.  It doesn’t feel like work, but I do know this isn’t sustainable. (I’m so excited about my projects that my soul feels ok but my eyeballs hurt).

Action Plan: Schedule time off. And actually take it. On Wednesday, I started a new book and I want to actually read it. Today I’m “leaving” at noon. I’m going to cook empanadas for lunch (when in Argentina, right?) and then I’m going to go to an old, famous cafe in a different part of town and I’m going to take a photo walk home. Tonight we are going on a date. For tacos. Where they have actual hot sauce. Woohoo!

The mood swings

I think the mood swings are because I’m scared. Petrified. I don’t know where my next pay check is coming from. I’m a super small one-woman business and I need clients. Paying clients.

Because a girl’s gotta eat.

I go from euphoria (e.g., oh, wow, this is the best session ever) to panic (e.g., oh shit, everyone is going to hate it and no one will ever hire me ever again) back to euphoria (e.g., yay, I got an enquiry) in a matter of seconds. I’m a mood swing machine. (Just ask the hubs about the website redesign. Or ask him about bBlue coffee last Friday. U.G.L.Y.)

Action Plan: I have no idea. Advice (or clients) welcome. But it’s ok. I don’t need the answers for everything right away. I just need to learn how to go with the flow a little. I need to learn how to let it go. 

And despite all this… well I’m still so happy. I’ve got so much done this week, and I feel like I’m almost caught up. I did a client project that’s been on my desktop for an embarrassing amount of time. I totally redesigned my website. I edited and blogged Morgan and Agustin’s wedding and completed their slideshow. I wrote several blog posts on this blog. And now I’m taking the time to reflect on what’s working and what’s not working.  I know that I need to hang out with people. I know that I need to do things other than just work. And I need to remember that is ok. That’s why I’m trying to live the dream.

2 thoughts on “the ups and the downs

  1. Love the new photog website, Allison, it looks great. The “where we are” page is fantastic. You are an inspiration!

    • Thanks Alexis! It was a ton of work, but I’m really really happy with how it has turned out! And on being an inspiration: I just feel like me. Doing something a little bit outside the box :)

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